4 Types of Love Addiction
The Typical Love Addict
If there really is such a thing as a typical love addict, it would be the person who is obsessed with having the perfect relationship with the perfect partner. She believes that this will be the answer to all her problems and will make her life better. She believes in soulmates and hopes that finding hers will give her life the meaning it is missing. She is desperate for unconditional love and constructs fantasies around finding that perfect mate. Also known as a relationship addict, this love addict, once having found a partner, clings to him and gives him all of her attention and energy while neglecting her own needs. Co-dependency and low self-esteem are common traits in this type of love addict.
The Avoidant Love Addict
Avoidant attachment patterns are common in love addictions. The avoidant love addict is often the type of person to whom the typical love addict is attracted. An avoidant love addict thrives on the neediness of the typical love addict. He looks for partners whom he can control and shows signs of narcissism. He craves the attention or even worship of his partner. We call this the avoidant love addict because he avoids true intimacy. His underlying relationship goals are power, control and adoration.
The romance addict rarely settles down with one partner for long. She is always searching for romance and infatuation. Infatuation fades and romance takes work, which means that she hops from one relationship to another trying to get that magic back. She obsesses over anything romantic, like romantic movies or novels. She never truly falls in love but lives in a fantasy world where romance rules.
Ambivalent Love Addicts
Ambivalent love addicts can come in many different forms, but they have one thing in common: they are stuck in a rut in terms of finding a good relationship, because they crave love but are afraid of intimacy. An ambivalent type may be a torch bearer, someone who obsesses over an unavailable partner. She may be a saboteur, ruining relationships when they start to get too intimate. Sexual ambivalent addicts are willing to be physically intimate, but withhold emotional intimacy.
Understanding love addiction and all its varied forms isn’t easy, but if you recognize any of these patterns in yourself, it may be time to make some changes. Love addiction holds you back from having a meaningful and loving relationship. Look for a counselor who is experienced in helping love addicts and you can learn to make real and positive changes in your love life.