Not all of us are going to be making dinner reservations and trading heart-shaped boxes…
5 Good Things About Getting Dumped
Not all of us are going to be making dinner reservations and trading heart-shaped boxes of candy with a significant other this Valentine’s Day. Some of us are going to be struggling to deal with the aftermath of a relationship that crashed and burned or never really got off the ground.
If that is you, you don’t need to be told that the heartache is real, and it takes on special poignancy when the rest of the world seems to be celebrating something that may feel as though it’s always just out of your reach. But amid the sadness that comes with romantic rejection, there are things to be grateful for. Among them are these:
Rejection leaves you available for the relationship you’re meant to be in.
If your partner shows you the door, you’ve learned something important. He or she is unable to value you. Isn’t it better to discover that now rather than somewhere down the road? Rejection hurts, but what’s even worse is clinging to a relationship that’s less than you deserve and, as a result, missing your chance to connect with the person who is truly right for you.
Rejection uncovers emotional resilience.
When rejection comes, it can leave you feeling as though life has lost all its joys. But if you are patient with yourself, resist the temptation to turn to substances or damaging behaviors to deal with your sadness, and keep moving forward, you’ll discover something remarkable: the heart does heal. That’s a lesson you’ll be able to draw on each time your emotions take a knock.
If you find, however, that you can’t seem to shake the feeling that being rejected confirms you are somehow unworthy or unlovable, reach out for help. Therapy, for example, can show you techniques for challenging your negative thinking and gaining perspective. It’s knowledge that not only helps bring peace in the moment, it can guide you toward a more authentic partnership in your next relationship.
Rejection can help you grow.
When fresh, rejection seems to offer little more than misery. But in retrospect, it has the potential to become one of the most valuable experiences of your life. That’s because it reveals truths such as these:
- As much as you wish to or try to, you can’t control other people.
- Self-worth must come from within. Expecting another person to provide it is healthy for neither of you.
- Rejection is usually more about the other person than about you.
- Romantic rejection is the end of a relationship, not the end of the world.
Rejection offers a fresh start.
You may never really understand why the other person moved on, or you may know only too well. Either way, rejection usually brings with it the relief of no longer having to spend your time and energy stressing about trying to make things happen or trying to keep things going. Instead, you can take advantage of all the opportunities for happiness that surround you — new experiences, new challenges and, of course, new people. Never forget, after all, that the rejection you experienced was the work of one person, not the whole world.
Rejection means you are putting yourself out there.
It’s easy to avoid social rejection: just stay home, say no to chances and keep your feelings to yourself. But that isn’t a life; it’s a way of missing your life. If you have a broken heart, consider it a badge of honor. It means you were brave enough to open yourself emotionally to another person. Regardless of the outcome, that’s a beautiful thing.