Are You a Relationship Addict?
- You fear abandonment. Being afraid of abandonment and addicted to relationships go hand in hand. Something in your early life made you fear being rejected or abandoned, so now you obsess over having the perfect relationship to keep you safe.
- You’re insecure. Relationship addicts tend to be insecure, which is related to the fear of abandonment. You don’t feel worthy of your partner or his love, so you expect he will abandon you at some point. Your insecurity also pushes you to try to earn the love of your partner.
- You’re attracted to distant or abusive partners. It seems counterintuitive, but relationship addicts often seek out partners to whom they can’t get close or who even are abusive. Rejection or neglect by parents in early childhood is thought to be one of the causes of love addiction, and this means that you are attracted to people like your parents.
- You feel desperate to keep your relationship going. Even if you aren’t happy, or your partner isn’t happy, you feel like you have to avoid a break up. The worst thing in the world to you is the end of a relationship.
- You attach quickly. When you start a new relationship, you fall hard. You get attached very quickly and could be described as needy or clingy. The beginning of a new relationship feels exciting and hopeful. You feel like it has the potential to be “the one,” the relationship that will finally make you happy.
- You see sex as a tool. Rather than something to be enjoyed or to create intimacy, you see sex in your relationship as a way of earning your partner's love and faithfulness or as a tool for getting what you want emotionally.
- You have compulsive behaviors. The stress of being in a relationship as a relationship addict often is expressed in seemingly unrelated ways. Relationship addicts may develop compulsive behaviors like substance abuse, overeating or overspending.
Being a relationship addict means that until you get help, you will never be satisfied with your love life, your relationships or your life in general. For relationship addiction treatment advice, look for a counselor or therapist who is experienced in working with love addicts. It is a specialized and unique type of addiction that requires the right therapeutic techniques. When you do find someone to help you, your life will start to turn around and you will learn to have a healthy relationship that lasts.