In 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, each of the 12 steps contains words such as \u201cwe,\u201d \u201cus\u201d and \u201courselves.\u201d These words help to remind each individual in the program that recovery is not a solo journey and that together we can do what none of us can do alone. In order to successfully recover from drugs or alcohol, it\u2019s important to let others know when you need help. For many people, especially newcomers, this isn\u2019t an easy thing to do. You may want to put on a brave front and appear to have your act together all the time. You may not want to admit you are struggling. But you will quickly get into trouble if you don\u2019t learn to ask for help. Pride Can Block True Recovery Pride can be a huge roadblock to recovery. You want to feel good about yourself and you want others to look up to you and admire how well you are handling your problems and your sobriety. But pretending to have your act together when you don\u2019t is asking for trouble. Learning how to live sober is the same as learning any other new skill. You weren\u2019t born knowing how to drive a car, for instance. You had to let someone show you. In sobriety, you have to let someone show you how to cope with challenging situations and how to deal with emotional turbulence and cravings for your drug of choice. When pride stands in the way, you don\u2019t let yourself learn what you need to know as problems and challenges come up. The only person you are hurting with this behavior is yourself. Overcoming the Fear of Reaching Out It\u2019s hard to reach out to others and admit you need help. Often the problem is fear. You may be afraid of rejection or afraid to admit you can\u2019t handle everything alone. You may be afraid of being judged for past behavior or things you\u2019re thinking or feeling now. How can you get past the fear of asking for help? When you recognize that addiction is a life or death problem that isn\u2019t going to go away, you may experience the gift of desperation. Solving the problem of learning to live sober isn\u2019t optional, it\u2019s imperative. Fear can be thought of as False Evidence Appearing Real. In many cases, what you\u2019re afraid of is unrealistic. For example, if you ask someone at a meeting for a phone number, what is the worst that can happen? It\u2019s possible that that particular individual isn\u2019t willing to give you his or her number, but if that happens, it\u2019s not the end of the world. There are other people whom you haven\u2019t approached yet, and many of them will say yes if asked. Maybe you\u2019re afraid that if you ask someone to be your sponsor, that person will try to dictate how you live your life. You always have the option of changing sponsors if the one you choose doesn\u2019t seem to fit. Getting Into the Habit of Asking for Help When you have the willingness to do whatever it takes to get sober and stay sober, you understand the importance of getting into the habit of asking for help. A habit is a recurring pattern of behavior that becomes unconscious through frequent repetition. The more you ask for help, the easier it will get. Start by simply asking for at least one phone number at every meeting you attend. Make the effort to participate in discussion meetings and support groups, and share with others what you\u2019re thinking and feeling. Pick up the phone and call someone every day. Ask new friends in recovery to go out for coffee. Like riding a bike, asking for help will feel difficult or impossible at first, but pretty soon you\u2019ll realize that you can do it. Don\u2019t give up if you experience disappointing results at first. Other people in support groups are human too and may not be able to be there for you, but just because one person lets you down doesn\u2019t mean everyone will. Ask for help. Trust that you\u2019ll get it. You are not alone.